On Congressional climate-crisis critics’
pathetically preposterous pomposity
and the most crucial covenant of all our lifetimes.
So far.

It’s a p-p thing.

Donald Trump and his speechwriter must have thought they were pretty doggone clever in June 2017 when the now ex-president* announced the USA’s withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accord.

“I was elected to represent the citizens of Pittsburgh,” the bloviator-in-chief said, “not Paris.”

Boy-oh-boy, they’d really turned a phrase there, by gawd, something people were sure to remember. Something as sharp as a Sharpie, too, what with it’s nice p-p alliteration and the reframing of the climate crisis as something that pits the people in the USA’s Rust Belt against the “European elites.”

There he stood in all his glib grandiosity, orange face burning in the bright Washington, D.C. sunshine, looking every bit the anti-humanity buffoon.

In truth, he’d just reneged on the USA’s word, not to mention its responsibility to be a leader in the response to the climate crisis for which our country bears disproportionate blame. It was an egregious, inhumane, fossil-fuel-industry-pandering error, and it made us all look like the liar Trump actually is.

The USA was officially out of the Paris Accord on Nov. 4, 2020, the day after the final day of the U.S. election cycle. We joined Eritrea, Iran, Iraq, Libya, South Sudan, Turkey and Yemen as the only nations in the world that refused to be part of it.

Then came Jan. 20, 2021.

We’re Back, Baby

Ahhhh… Paris.

Or, more on point, Ahhhh… Paris Accord.

The old cliché is actually “Paris in Springtime,” meaning the city that is beautiful, magical and romantic any time of year is especially so that time of year.

As for this year, I’ll rejoice with “Paris Accord in the Wintertime” thanks to President Joe Biden.

One of Uncle Joe’s day-one acts was to sign an executive order that will once again make the United States a signatory to the Paris Climate Accord, which our nation originally signed in 2015 along with 195 others.

And just like that, we’re back, baby. Ready (I hope) to roll up our sleeves and start making real progress on the agreement’s carbon reduction targets.

As I said, it feels sooooo right.

Speaking of Buffoons…

“The right” doesn’t see it that way, of course, as two of its most seditious actors made clear on Twitter.

Well…

Sort of clear.

Sen. Ted Cruz, R-Texas, and Rep. Lauren Boebert, R-Colo., thought that Pittsburgh-Paris alliteration thing was pretty doggone cool and, by gawd, they’d just go ahead and use it, too.

Insurrectionist Ted Cruz's Twitter post on USA and Paris Accord

Now, some people on social media are saying Cruz is a pretty smart guy, that he understands this isn’t about just Paris or Pittsburgh. Maybe so, maybe no, but I wouldn’t lay any money on it.

If it’s simply a reboot of the Trump speechwriter’s slick linguistic trick, it’s a hand-me-down and a pretty piss-poor one at that. More than anything, it belittles the crucial importance of the Paris Accord to the future of the planet and humanity itself.

Besides, parroting Trump is never good play.

Especially if someone more popular than you, and arguably a lot smarter, grabs ’hold of it. Like Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a champion of the Green New Deal, who smacked Cruz down but good:

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Twitter post on USA's return to the Paris Accord

Oh yes she di-id!

Not only that, but she brought up that pesky insurrection thing again, which for some reason Cruz sorta wants to downplay right now.

However, as preposterous parroters go, it’s hard to beat Boebert, that gun-totin,’ gawd-fearin’ representative from the Rocky Mountain state. She took the alliterative mess not just as a hand-me-down, but as a twice-handed-down hand-me-down, and made it all her own.

Lauren Boebert's Twitter post on USA and Paris Accord

Pueblo?

Now that’s a lot of p-p.

Climate-Crisis Goddess

Greta Thunberg stuck in what looked like the last word. And twisted:

Greta Thunberg Twitter post on USA's return to Paris Accord

From Washington, D.C. to the Paris Accord

The great irony here is that if they truly are working for the people of Pueblo, Pittsburgh, Palmdale or any other U.S. city, regardless of whether it fits their pathetic p-p structure, these Republicans should be pushing not just for the Paris Climate Accord, but also the Green New Deal and every international effort to address the climate crisis that comes along.

Because, idiocy, strong smackdowns and asinine alliteration aside, the Paris Climate Accord is a serious covenant meant to get all the world’s nations to focus on the existential threat of climate change and to work toward crucial carbon emission reductions. If we don’t, we’ll all be fucked. And that right quick.

This is not to be taken – or treated – lightly.

Fortunately, President Biden knows geography, recognizes BS alliterative statements that set up false equivalencies, and understands what’s best for the nation and the world. And for right now, the last word is his.

Make that a bunch of last words; the President has signed multiple executive orders reversing his predecessor’s anti-environment, climate-crisis-ignoring policies.

Thanks, Uncle Joe.

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