“Let me get the hell up outta here!”

The past couple of weeks. It’s been a rocky stretch, man.

There have been at least 20 mass shootings in the USA since March 16, when eight people were gunned down in Atlanta, including six Asian women. Just yesterday four more people died in Orange, Calif., including a child.  

But gun control? Nah, that would infringe on citizens’ FreeDumb.

Meanwhile, the trial of Derek Chauvin is well underway in Minneapolis, with new video and damning, emotional bystander testimony. Say all you want about “innocent until proven guilty,” but in my book the man who kneeled on George Floyd’s neck until he was dead truly is a pig, a monster, a murderer. The cops who stood by are in the same categories.

"NRA? NO WAY!" graphic

We all saw it. We’ve all seen it all too many times before. And there’s so much more we haven’t seen.

On top of all that, I’m still pissed off about the GOP-controlled North Dakota Legislature invalidating the state’s ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment on March 19 with a secret ballot. Cowards.

I needed a pick-me-up.

Sexy RN has the day off. She suggested Starbucks. I’m more a Caribou man, myself, but then Starbs does have tasty blueberry muffins.

Off we went. We’re still not going into stores we don’t need to, even though we’re both fully vaccinated. With the new variants going around, why take the extra risk? Drive-through it is. (No, not “drive-thru… I swear to gawd, don’t even get me started….)

Then my favorite part: Sexy RN leans over me to placer her order.

Where’d your mind go? C’mon back here.

I’m deeply in love – and lust – with my wife, absolutely, but this is the best part of the coffee drive-through because I get a good chuckle every time I listen to all the words she has to string together and holler past me to get what she wants.

“Yes, I’d like a Vente decaf half mocha half sweet cream Frappuccino with a pump of caramel and whip, please, and it’s decaf.”

And that was a short one.

Our kids are the same way.

Look, I’m all about getting things exactly the way you want them. Listen to my Blizzard® order at Dairy Queen once or hear me ask for a hot fudge sundae at McDonald’s (best hot fudge in the world) and that’ll be quite clear.

Screenshot from DQ Blizzard TV commercial - "Yeah, They're Thick"
My favorite DQ Blizzard commercial of all time – “Yeah, They’re Thick.” Click here or on the image to watch.

But when it comes to “coffee” orders in drive-through lines for my family members, I draw the line; they can shout ’em out themselves.

As for me, I’m simple: 

Coffee.
Black.
16 ounces.
Please.

Easy peasy.

As bluesman Keb’ Mo’ says –

Well, I went down to the local coffee store
The menu went from the ceiling all the way down to the floor
Decaf, cappuccino, or latte said the cashier
I said gimme a small cup of coffee and let me get the hell up outta here

“Keep It Simple”
(listen)

No coffee order for me, in other words. Made myself a refill when we got home.

But I was able to spend some extra time away from my desk and with Sexy RN, she got what she wanted – always does – and my muffin was delectable.

No matter what your drive-through order sounds like, you be you – get what you want.

As for the rest, keep it simple, folks. Keep it real, too, and stay positive.

It ain’t all bad.

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