A new naming paradigm – Perhaps if we call it something closer to the heart… er, um, hips… people will take the pandemic more seriously.

45’s Plan: Paint the Rest of the Nation Red
President says threat of “blue-leakage” infections of red-state governors and voters with progressive ideology (and coronavirus) too dangerous to ignore.

Fargo, N.D., Brothers Receive State’s First “Good COVID Neighbor Award”
Gubernatorial Proclamation: “There’s more than one coronavirus irony here. And way more than one guber.”

North Dakota’s COVID-19 Concierges
Fargo, West Fargo, and Cass County are “in lockstep” with Gov. Doug Burgum in trusting these guys with our health and safety during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Trump Delivers Shortest #SOTU in History
New York Times copy editor suffers exclamation-point-induced heart attack.

Jobs? All It Takes is a Huge Setta Ball… Gags. Trump’s got ’em!
Recent gag orders from the White House? Three words: Absolutely. Freakin’. Brilliant.